an anonymous restaurant that I show up at too often: rules and regulations

  1. No jumping on the couches. Sorry to all of my close friends.
  2. No having more than 10 glasses of wine. Idk. This rule is a bit much, honestly. I guess they operate as a non-profit, so they don’t want you to buy things from them.
  3. No sending creepy/predatory texts to the wait staff. I know this from experience. They don’t respond and things are weird the next day.
  4. No touching the POS system (that screen where they type in your order). The wait staff doesn’t want you to alleviate their extra work. They want to do all the work themselves.
  5. No going into the kitchen. This one is beyond me. It seems like they’re trying to isolate/hide the kitchen staff.
  6. No talking about dick pics in front of the guests. Because apparently, there are like, three boring people left in New York. And we can’t risk offending them.
  7. No fun allowed.