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#monogamy #?

Dear Nikki,

I met this guy on an app and we've gone out a few times. At first, I really liked him and he was doing a lot to win me over, but after the last time we hung out he sent me a text about how he "doesn't believe in monogamy" (which was a little condescending but idk if he means it to come across like that). Is this something I should take personally or should I be open to his view on this? He's a bit older and super smart, so I don't want to shut anything down before I see where he's coming from.

Luv,
Monogamy 2K18?

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Dear Holly Madison circa 2006,

So, to start, I would love a little more elaboration on the "not believing in monogamy" part. Like, it's not a fairy. It's not Santa Claus. I'm actually confused as to whether this guy's brain is broken or if he's just majorly linguistically challenged (Like, is he foreign? Perhaps French? This would help his case a bit, because right now, I'm just having secondhand embarrassment for him).

Just to clarify, since some people out there are apparently confused: monogamy exists. You can go observe it in real life. You're invited to my parents' house if necessary. Read an article about the Obamas. Watch Jon and Kate plus Eight. Anything. Whatever you need to do. It's publicly available. 

If you choose not to practice it, that's totally fine too, but I would suggest not choosing such aggressively preach-y wording to explain this decision, because it makes you look like a moron.

Honestly, my major issue with this guy is not his free-spirited hippie views on casual sex and open relationships (which I guess he seems to think he invented?), but that he needs to learn how to express these opinions in a way that actually makes sense before anyone should ever want to have sex with him.

You dodged a bullet and he needs to take an intro to communications course. Those are really the only takeaways here. Please reactivate your Tinder/Bumble/League/Hinge/Raya accounts immediately. 

XOXO,
Nikki