first dates: fun vs. future

This is an age old question, and the answer has two lanes.

Lane 1: A Future. 

You just want a boyfriend, which hey, no judgment. I get it. Some people want someone to take couples pics outside of Rockefeller center with, and I guess biological clocks are real (if having kids is even your thing, because no offense, but ew).

The Rules Here:

1) Definitely offer to pay (if he lets you do so and you still want to date him, I'm judging you hard, but hey, it's your own life to ruin).

2) Do NOT have sex with him. Seriously. Guys don't want to date girls who do this on a first date. It's "not classy." Not "marriage material." You know. Because waiting two more weeks to bang is the main foundation for a solid marriage.

3) And do NOT get too drunk. Three drinks absolute maximum, but two is probably better. Three drinks at happy hour is not something PTA moms do.

4) Agree with everything he says! People just like being told that they're right. Everyone is self centered, and people who say they're not are either liars or completely lack self awareness.

Lane 2: Fun. 

No Rules! Do whatever the fuck you want.

Talk about your ex boyfriends, sex, drugs, politics, religion, and definitely make sexist jokes. Wear a hot pink crop top that says spoiled. Or your gym clothes. Or a Hillary Clinton inspired pantsuit. Lead with your crazy.

Order a tequila shot as your first drink. Or a tequila sunrise with patron. Or a Long Island Iced Tea!

I personally prefer lane 2. Life is tedious enough anyway without having to worry about impressing strangers. And my manners get saved for my real friends.