ghosting is bae.

I personally love ghosting. I ghost everyone. I was TRYING to ghost this 35 year old doctor I was dating because he started having too many feelings, but instead he forced me to break up with him on the phone.

Basically, this guy was fine for a bit until he started sending me a million clingy texts in a row, so naturally I stopped responding, until the 17th unanswered text got weird af. 

The message that tipped the scales said: LMK when you can talk. Important but not urgent.

I'm sorry, but what the actual FUCK?! That literally sounds like someone is about to tell you that you have an STD or that they're moving to Siberia (the latter would be a gift from god).

So anyway, I'm just trying to casually enjoy drinking some rosé on the STK Rooftop with my friends, and then THIS. No one asked for this! I had been very busy trying to get a good Instagram!

At this point, I guess I have to call him to make the psycho texts stop, and I tell some lie about how I'm getting back together with my ex-boyfriend (such a joke because I could not be paid to do so).

This was his response: "So, are you guys fully back together, or is it up in the air...?"

"It's just... complicated!" Complicated is a great word to use when you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Also, again, what the actual fuck. If it was up in the air would he still be interested in dating?! People are literally insane.

"Also, what did that word you texted me mean? I've never heard it before." I had sent him a text with the word transactional three weeks ago. Why was this happening to me.

"The word transactional...? I feel like you should google that."

Apparently, he had googled it and it didn't show up. Please keep in mind that this is a well educated man who gets paid over 500k a year to perform SURGERY on people. I hope that is comforting for the next time you're in a doctor's office.

Anyway, at that point I really just had to bow out of the conversation because I felt like I was in the twilight zone and if I leave my friends to their own devices for too long then they start fighting with each other. And/or do too much cocaine.

Just to clarify, the definition of the word transactional is available when googled. And that is why I prefer ghosting. See you never!