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I’m blacklisting vogue. They printed an article the other day about some weird woman I don’t like, and her awkward “surprise wedding” in Long Island. Like, no one wants to read about that.

The word surprise should never precede the word wedding. Ever. Unless they’re also followed by the word sets unplanned pregnancy or immigration issues. Or both. Idk.

It was a pretty desperate attention plea (synonymous to free publicity for her startup), but they did manage to look like they were fake having fun, which was cute.

Anyway, sorry vogue. Open to reconciliation at some point, but for now, it’s pertinent that we take some space. It’s just best for our friendship.