A mere three weeks ago, I would have given almost anything to have erased the breakup, and now, I could not be more grateful that I did not have that option.
Of course, it’s incredibly possible that I’m in some sort of post-breakup self-delusion that will come and go in phases for the next year or so. But I honestly feel as though this relationship ended a long time before the finale.
I tried for so long and I would never give up, but once the other person has, it almost feels relieving to be able to let go as well. It’s as though I wanted to walk off the field so badly, but I couldn’t be the one to let the team down. And once they decided to forfeit the game without asking me first, then I realized I could accept just how much I had wanted it to end. And more importantly, how much I didn’t want to be on a team with anyone who could do to me what I couldn’t do to them.
I rolled my eyes as soon as I closed my laptop. It didn’t sound as poetic once I realized how seriously I was taking myself.
Nikki, age 23