Konnichiwa my angels. I know that I normally only write about sex and enemies, but today I'm here to educate all of my fans about a really important cause.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines a koala as: noun-
"a bearlike arboreal Australian marsupial that has thick gray fur and feeds on eucalyptus leaves."
Unfortunately, our little koala friends have been having a bit of a bullshit Monday morning. Did you know that they're a threatened species?!
I know, it's alarming! I was shocked too. The good news, we can help.
Please go to https://www.savethekoala.com/ for more information, and to take the next steps for the good of this species.
For those who would like to know more, I've listed a few reasons below as to why koalas are the cutest fucking animals ever.
They're basically drunk all the time. Eucalyptus has the same effects on Koalas that vodka sodas have on sorority girls.
They're grey. This is a chic color, so I shouldn't need to explain further.
An infant koala is called a Joey. Like in Friends.
There are only about 43,000 koalas left in the world! Isn't that so not fetch?
Basically, they're fun at parties, they're chic, they remind me of a television show that doesn't suck, and they're hard to come by.
So, anyway, if you don't get your boyfriend to donate a lot of money to help them out, then there won't be any adorable little baby koalas left to party with! And I don't think any of us want to live in that world.
Thanks in advance. Koalas are hot.