My mood rollercoastered. I stared at Paulina's most recent Facebook post again, hating her. Why did I do this to myself? She was probably far more mature than I was, never giving me a second thought. She probably pitied me, which given the current situation, was a fair point of view. I needed to leave the office.
I just could not stand her. I couldn't stand anyone in this particular moment. This always happened to me. I was on cloud nine about 45 minutes prior, and now I'd reached an unequivocal rock bottom. I guess I could talk to my therapist about mood stabilizers. Or, at the very least, some Xanax.
I could hear Luke's voice in my head. I was too dramatic, too this, too that. Didn't care enough about my career, which was translation for not caring enough about becoming a lawyer, like he wanted me to be. I had to hold back screaming. He just didn't get it. I had never wanted that.
When Luke left me, he claimed I had done nothing to deserve it. And when Phillip left me, I knew that I had done nothing. But then what about the next time? At what point did it become my own fault? At 25? 30? Is 35 the point at which its decided that I'm intolerable? My mind screamed. By 35 I probably wouldn't be pretty anymore.
* This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.